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Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now

Author Topic: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now  (Read 6647 times)

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Offline Timi Dapsin

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Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« on: January 06, 2014, 01:52:04 PM »


Rules/TERMS & CONDITIONS
 (1)DONT READ FORTHER IF UR NT
 HAVING THEETH.
 (2)DONT POST ANY OF DIS JOKES ON
 FACE BOOK, BUT U CAN WRITE IT ON
 NOTE BOOK. (3)ALWAYS MAINTAIN UR TABLE
 MANNERS, DONT READ WHILE EATING.
 (4)DONT SCREAM LOUD WHEN
 LAUGHING CUS UR GIRLFRIEND MAY
 THING UR MADDING......
 (5)NO BAD COMMENT DONT JUST LIKE MY JOKE SCREAM MY NAME.
 (6) MORE RULES TO COME!!!







Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2014, 01:52:48 PM »
Lets get started
.................................
This morning my Director walked into
the office and caught the Manager
kissing his Secretary. In his anger he
shouted "is this what I pay you to
do?" The Manager nervously
answered "no Sir; THIS I DO FREE OF CHARGE!"

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2014, 01:53:29 PM »
A man was dying of cancer. His son
Johnny asked him "Dad why do you
always tell people you are dying of
AIDS" He answered "so that when am
d*ad no one will dare touch your
mum"

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2014, 01:55:10 PM »
Johnny said to his mum " mum do you
know that our house-help Comfort is
an Angel?" Mum replied "how do you
mean". Well Johnny started "yesterday
when you went to the market, I saw
Comfort naked in Daddys room shouting ouch- god am cumming. If
not for dad that held her tightly by the
waist, we would have lost her to
heaven by now" Immediately the
woman fainted.

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2014, 01:56:23 PM »
Paul was dying of an un-known
illness. His wife sat at the bedside
comforting him. He looked up and
said weakly, "I have something I must
confess." "There's no need to," his
wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
and your best friend!" "I know, I
know," she replied. "Now just rest
and let the poison work"

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2014, 01:56:54 PM »
In order to surprise her husband, the
wife
of a company executive decided to
stop by
her husband's office.
On entering the office, she saw the females
secretary sitting on her husband ’s
laps.
In order to defend himself knowing
he has
been caught red-handed, the husband said shouting “budget
cut or
no budget cut, management must do
something. I and my
secretary cannot be sharing this office
with just a single seat"!!

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2014, 01:57:58 PM »
7 months old twin babies in the womb
saw a joy-stick coming 2wards thm :D the
1st baby says "see daddy is coming
inside 2 say hello"=D/ .the 2nd baby
said "u idiot, >:O its uncle.......daddy
neva comes in with a raincoat.....

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2014, 01:59:50 PM »
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one underworld of a headache. The only way to relieve thepressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?""Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked,"How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished,"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,"How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one underworld of a headache

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2014, 02:00:39 PM »


A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's alot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank... staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied,"I make bets." The president then asked,"Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged,"So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, thepresident got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet:"$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.The President asked the old lady, "What the underworld's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2014, 02:01:08 PM »
Y did u laugh?Boy: I saw 1 strap
of ur bra.Teacher: GET OUT of the
classroom for 1 week..2 nd boy
laughed. Teacher: why did u
laugh?Boy 2 : I saw both straps.
Teacher: GET OUT FOR 1
MONTH.She bent down 2 pick up
a piece of chalk,Little Johny
started walking out.Teacher:
Johny, why r u going out?Little
Johny : Judging from what I just
saw, I think my school days
areover

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2014, 02:01:35 PM »
Three Pastors met and agreed to sincerely tell each
other their Problem which must be kept away from
other People. The First pastor said, My Problem is Money, I do Steal
from the Church Offering pls brethren pray for me. The Second Pastor said my Problem is women,
whenever i see any woman my desire will be to go
to bed with her, Infact i've slept with most of my
female church members, Pls pray for Me. Turning to the Third Pastor to hear his own
Problem, he started crying, it took his Friends some
effort to calm him, after that he was asked to
continue and he said still crying that my Problem is
gossiping, when we leave this place, everybody will
hear what you two just told me...*lol*

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2014, 02:02:57 PM »
Three University guys dodged exam becauses they
did not read. They came up with a plan, got
themselves dirty using grease then went to see the
Dean. ”Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it to the
exam. We attended a wedding and on our way
back the car broke down thus we became so dirty as you can see. The Dean understood and gave
them three days to prepare. After three days they
went to the Dean very ready for the exam becauses
they had studied. The Dean put them in there
separate classes. There were only four in the exam
paper; 1. Who and who got married? (25 mks)
2. Where was the reception held? (25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car broke down? (25mks)
4.What type of a car broke down? (25mks) Good luck, your answers must be the same.!! Enjoy!!!

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2014, 02:04:44 PM »
Akpos who was an aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the
pilot's cockpit and saw a book entitled, “How to fly an
aeroplane for beginners, Vol. 1 ".
He opened the first page which said; "To start the engine,
press the red button". He did so and the airplane engine
started! He was pleased and opened the next page, "To set airplane moving, press blue button". He did so and the
plane started moving at an amazing speed! He wanted to
fly, he opened the 3rd page which said;
"To let airplane fly, please press the green button". He did
so and the plane started flying!!! He was so happy After 20
minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land. He opened to the 4th page.
The 4th page said, "To learn how to land a plane, please
watch out for Volume 2." !!!

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2014, 02:14:08 PM »
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and Akpos,
were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree...the
three men found themselves standing before the pearly
gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the devil were
standing nearby.

"Gentlemen" the devil started, "due do the fact that
heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St. Peter has
agreed to limit the number of people entering heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't
know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go
to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to underworld."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, Give me the most
comprehensive report on socrates 19 Teachings."
With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next
to the devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.
"Then, go to underworld!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The Mathematician then asked, "Give me the most
complicated formula you can ever think of!"
With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared
next to the devil.
The Mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was
really complicated. "Then, go to underworld!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared.

Akpos then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"
The devil brought forward a chair.
"Drill 7 holes on the seat",
the devil did just that. Akpos then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "which hole did my fart come out
from? "The devil inspected the seat and said
"the third hole from the right", "wrong" said Akpos, "It's from my asshole". Akpos went to Heaven.

Offline Timi Dapsin

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Re: Afriwap Official Joke Forum, Laugh out loud Now
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2014, 02:17:27 PM »
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